


Not Everything About Growing Up Has To Involve Aliens

by paperclipbitch



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: M/M, for the record they're totes legal in the uk, i just want them to be married all the time, i love these two so much, i still feel a bit Special. Hell. about this fic, so it's not super icky or anything, there's too many italics in here but i don't know how to fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:37:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperclipbitch/pseuds/paperclipbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the boys discover sex. And <i>feelings</i>. And stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Everything About Growing Up Has To Involve Aliens

**Author's Note:**

> [originally posted on LJ November 2008] Oh dudes, I know, but I still kind of love this fic? There's too many italics because eighteen-year-old me loved them, but it's sweet, and Luke and Clyde, guys, LUKE AND CLYDE. I mostly had flu while writing this so don't kill me. Fluffy, cracky, slightly porny.

They’re just getting to the kind of _fun_ bit where Luke’s jeans are sliding off his hips and he still has that slightly surprised look – like: _hey, my best friend is getting me naked! And apparently I don’t mind! Wow!_ – when Luke’s phone goes off. They stare at each other in frozen horror for a moment; apparently even genius-boy has forgotten that _people can’t see you through a mobile phone_ , but finally register that Luke should probably answer it.

“Well, go on then,” Clyde sighs in as put-upon a way as he can manage, shifting out from underneath Luke and throwing an arm over his eyes. “Pick it up.”

Luke looks confused. “I… don’t know where my phone _is_ ,” he admits.

Clyde obediently rolls over and the two of them hastily search through the messy discarded clothes on Luke’s bedroom floor until Luke unearths his mobile from underneath Clyde’s t-shirt.

“Hi mum,” he says, and Clyde mentally sighs because there is pretty much no atmosphere killer more drastic than _getting a phonecall from your mum_ , and now things don’t bode at all well for this afternoon. Sarah Jane and Rani are supposedly off doing journalism-y things – they’re calling it _work experience_ so she can stick it on her UCAS form in September; early application to Oxford ‘cause of course her dad isn’t accepting anything less – but Clyde suspects they’re just drinking a lot of coffee and not doing very much. Not that he’s going to bring it up; Rani has been working on a particularly withering stare the last few months that Clyde has actually found himself backing away from on occasion. 

“Right,” Luke says, a serious expression passing over his face. “I’ll call Clyde and we’ll be with you soon.”

“World ending?” Clyde guesses when Luke’s ended the call.

“Six-foot-high invertebrates,” Luke informs him. “Apparently their exoskeletons are electric.”

Clyde considers this. So, not only is he _not getting laid_ this afternoon, he’s also _going to be electrocuted by giant mutant woodlice_. Bloody marvellous.

“Can’t wait,” he mutters, crawling up to join Luke on the edge of the bed. “Really, will your mum notice if we’re a bit late?” he adds, trying to prolong the inevitable, sliding the tips of his fingers over Luke’s lower back.

“She will notice,” Luke points out, though his voice is wavering a little bit. Clyde slides a little closer, pressing his lips to that spot behind Luke’s ear that always makes him come apart a little. “We have to-”

“Fifteen minutes?” Clyde suggests, fingers curling over Luke’s hips. “We could pretend there was traffic…”

Luke makes one of his lovely helpless noises when Clyde sucks his earlobe, but manages to pull away after a moment.

“We have to go,” he says without a _lot_ of conviction, and Clyde reluctantly begins putting his clothing back on.

“You still haven’t got the hang of being a proper teenage boy, you know,” he says.

Luke looks a cross between puzzled, amused, and slightly hurt. “I haven’t?”

Clyde shakes his head. “No. To _proper_ teenage boys, sex is _way_ more important than saving the world,” he explains.

“Oh.” Luke looks contemplative; Clyde grins, slinging an easy arm around his friend’s shoulders, and together they head out to face the murderous electric invertebrates.

Because, of course, a normal life is _far_ too much to ask for.

+

Clyde discovered sex with someone who wasn’t _him_ two months before his seventeenth birthday, which he kind of blamed on the fact he spent most of his free time either fighting aliens or hanging out with Luke and Rani, who are great but not really the kind of people you want around if you’re trying to get laid. Still, there was this girl in the back of his chemistry class – and it’s weird, ‘cause he has to think _really_ hard to dredge her name up from the recesses of her mind (and this was only, like, four months ago, so you’d think he’d still _remember_ ) but he probably knows her underwear collection better than _she_ does – who suggested something about studying together one afternoon. Since Clyde has Luke to actually get him through the tricky bits of his subjects, he agreed; predicting correctly that ‘studying together’ was actually going to end in lots and lots of groping on her sofa. 

He had a _lot_ of sex for about a fortnight, during which time he forgot to help out when this race of blue moth-type things invaded and starting poisoning everyone who went to M &S on the high street. It all worked out fine in the end, and Sarah Jane forgave him for not being there way too easily (possibly she’d figured out he’s, you know, a _teenage boy_ and so had kind of been expecting something like this to happen), but Luke wouldn’t speak to him for about a week.

Around that time Clyde realised he really ought to start doing _actual_ revision for his A-Levels, and then wondered what the hell kind of infectious way of thinking Luke had managed to pass on to him. Besides, he was kind of starting to miss having conversations with people, and hanging out with Luke, and the girl – what the hell _is_ her name, he’s probably going to have to face her next school year so it might be best to, you know, remember – wore too much perfume and chewed gum _all the time_. And anyway, when he told her he wasn’t interested anymore in furtive blowjobs in the third-floor toilets while skipping maths, she just rolled her eyes, said _whatever_ , and had already picked up another guy by the end of the day.

His sex life since then has been pretty much _better_.

+

About a week after his seventeenth birthday, Clyde became unhealthily interested in the idea of sex with _Luke_. He was fully aware that, as a teenage boy with _hormones_ who’d spent a fortnight having sex _everywhere_ , he was meant to get turned on by stupid and embarrassing things. He wasn’t entirely sure where his best friend came in though.

It was the middle of June, and Clyde’s AS-Levels had finished – Luke’s hadn’t, because he’s taking about _fifty_ subjects what with his Big Alien Brain and everything – and they were lying around in Sarah Jane’s living room with the windows wide open because it was too hot, watching a really bad afternoon film on Channel Five. Rani had an exam that day and so it was just Clyde and Luke sharing popcorn and cheerfully mocking the characters. Well, Clyde was mocking and Luke was laughing at him.

In one of the advert breaks, Clyde glanced over at Luke, lying on the other sofa, and got a bit distracted. Rani had finally taken Luke shopping a couple of months earlier to “get him dressing better”, and for some reason Clyde hadn’t noticed how, well, _skinny_ Luke’s skinny jeans actually were. He was wearing one of his old t-shirts, the ones that were kind of a bit small since he’d taken up swimming, and cheerfully eating popcorn, eyes fixed on the car insurance adverts.

Clyde _knew_ he wasn’t supposed to be practically _eye-raping_ Luke, that it’s not the kind of thing you do to your mates, but he was still fixated by the sharp rises of Luke’s hipbones above the waistband of his jeans, and wondered what it would be like to slide his hands under the thin cotton of the t-shirt and feel the swimming-created muscles for himself. The effect of this wondering was enough to make him need to roll onto his stomach and think very hard about _old people_ and _exam re-takes_ and _the Slitheen_ as hard as he could; hoping against hope he could make it all just _go away_.

(After all, you _know_ you’re in trouble when you’re picturing humping your best friend’s thigh while sucking popcorn salt off his fingers.)

+

Clyde had never actually sat down and had a conversation about sex with Luke; he got the feeling it would be a bit like banging his head against an affable but entirely clueless brick wall. He has other mates for discussing _improbable_ sex involving several glamour models with, and anyway the idea of discussing sex with Luke became really unappealing once Clyde worked out that he actually _fancied_ him. Because of course Luke wouldn’t get it, and it would end really badly if he ever found out, and Clyde _needed_ him as a friend in addition to wanting to get into his (unreasonably tight) jeans.

There wasn’t really a Big Gay Freak Out like Clyde thought he was meant to have, since Captain Jack Harkness had come to see Sarah Jane the summer they all turned sixteen, and propositioned them all not-particularly-subtly when her back was turned. And although Luke blushed and stammered until Jack took pity on him and went away, and Rani slapped him (with a glint in her eye that implied she _kind of_ wanted to give in), and Clyde said “ _fuck_ no” a little too loudly, he was aware that he didn’t _completely_ want to say ‘no’ to Jack Harkness. At the time, he just assumed it was ‘cause Jack has all that weird pheromone shit going for him, but it did start to make sense a year later when Clyde realised that Luke was actually kind of _hot_.

He held on until the end of June, when their teachers had all started going “Ooh, let’s all start on your A-Level courses even though _you only finished your exams a week ago_ ”, and so they all had kind of too much time on their hands because no one was about to start doing homework this late in the school year. Rani got herself a boyfriend – who was, annoyingly, _really nice_ and didn’t seem to have any objections to her hanging out with Clyde and Luke regularly at all – and so it was just Clyde and Luke in his kitchen, since Sarah Jane was out doing something for UNIT that she wasn’t sharing.

Luke scrabbled about in cupboards, attempting to find something for them to eat before they went and played around with the latest game they’d uploaded onto Mr Smith – something that was kind of icky and violent but as long as Sarah Jane didn’t find out they’d be _fine_ – and Clyde watched him bend over in a way that was probably really invasive, so it was just as well Luke had his back to him. Or… not.

“We have crisps,” Luke said, sounding slightly stunned, and Clyde remembered Sarah Jane had got started on her _healthy brain food_ campaign again, though really, if Luke’s brain worked any better it was actually _going to implode_.

Clyde attempted to form a coherent reply that didn’t involve things like _I want to touch you everywhere_ and managed to nod. “Cool.”

Luke frowned at him; after nearly four years he’d finally started to get the hang of reading people’s facial expressions.

“Are you ok, Clyde?”

Clyde became aware that he was still kind of staring. “Um, yeah. ‘Course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Luke shrugged, turning away, reaching up to get a bowl out of one of the upper cupboards – he’s always been _unavoidably_ tidy – and his t-shirt rode up and that was _it_ for Clyde’s not-particularly-great-in-the-first-place-self-control. When Luke turned around again, he found Clyde standing way too close, firmly taking the bowl out of his hands, dumping it carelessly on a sideboard, pinning Luke against said sideboard, and kissing him.

Clyde knows that he wasn’t Luke’s first kiss, because there was that whole thing, GCSE year, with the girl in their maths class who’d managed to overlook Luke’s general _weirdness_ and see that he was actually pretty cute. She practically jumped him on Valentine’s day, leaving a stammering Luke (a stunned-looking Rani, and Clyde practically _pissing himself_ laughing) behind her. But he does know that Luke and whatshername met up for random snogging sessions in the science lab for about a month after that until Luke freaked himself out; awww, first lust, nothing cuter.

Getting back to the part where Clyde had Luke up against the sideboard in the kitchen, his hands clenching in the warm cotton of Luke’s t-shirt; it kind of took him a minute to work out exactly what he’d done. He’d tried to convince himself that it was _completely fine_ to be picturing Luke when he was in the shower instead of Keira Knightley or Rihanna or Angelina Jolie or whoever it was that he was meant to have a hard-on for; but he had to admit that ambushing Luke with his tongue was probably a step too far. He was on the point of pulling away and stammering and trying to assure Luke that he wanted to be friends with him for reasons _other_ than his arse in those jeans that Rani should _never_ have recommended, when Luke made a muffled little noise that wasn’t _quite_ protest, and kissed Clyde back. 

The thing is, Luke is a _great_ kisser. He’s probably read every article online on kissing _ever_ , he’s a quick learner, and he’s always been very diligent about practising things until he gets them absolutely _right_. Apparently he worked everything out during that period of time with Random Maths Girl, because there was no hesitancy at _all_ in the way he kissed Clyde, long fingers curling over the back of Clyde’s neck, teeth catching his lower lip.

Clyde has kissed a fair amount of people in his time – he’s still cool enough to get into parties and has played more Spin The Bottle than he _really_ cares to remember – and he firmly believes Luke might be the best person he’s ever kissed. Of course, he might be a little bit biased, but _still_.

He still has no idea how long they stayed like that for; kissing until their mouths hurt and the novelty should have worn off ( _only it didn’t_ ; and still hasn’t, if Clyde is honest with himself), and Clyde was on the point of reaching underneath that t-shirt and finding out if Luke’s skin felt the way he’d imagined when the sound of the key in the door startled them apart. 

Luke stared soundlessly at Clyde, swollen lips moving a little as though attempting to find words but not finding any, and Clyde was more distracted by the fact Luke’s hair was practically standing on end from where he’d been running his fingers through it. And also he kind of had the beginnings of a problem in his jeans that was going to lead to all kinds of questions he _really_ didn’t want to answer.

“I’m home early,” Sarah Jane called, as though that wasn’t _completely and annoyingly obvious_ , and Luke frantically tried to flatten his hair as Clyde glared at him. 

“Hi mum,” Luke managed, and commendably managed _not_ to sound like he was having a panic attack. 

“Hi Sarah Jane,” Clyde added.

Sarah Jane smiled at them both in a motherly way – and not at all a _I know what you were doing thirty seconds before I walked into the room_ way, which was a relief – and said: “Are you staying for dinner, Clyde?”

He should have said _yes_. He should have caught Luke after dinner and tried to have a conversation or at least tried to kiss him again. He should have done _something_.

“Actually,” he mumbled, “Mum wants me home. I’m cooking tonight. So… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Luke was staring at him; expression unreadable but eyes really huge and slightly betrayed. Clyde should have stayed and fixed it, but instead, he grabbed his rucksack and fled.

At the end of Bannerman Road, Clyde turned to glance back at the house.

“Fucking _coward_ ,” he muttered to himself, but kept walking.

+

For four whole days Luke ignored him. He left for school early, so Clyde got to Bannerman Road every morning only to find from Rani that Luke had already been gone for about half an hour. In registration, Luke sat with some of the weird geeky people he was sort-of friends with in his physics class, and he disappeared off at lunchtimes to go translate poetry into binary code or play with Quarks or whatever it was that Luke _did_ , and always managed to go off at the end of the day faster than Clyde could catch up with him.

It _hurt_. Clyde was willing to admit that to himself; he missed Luke like crazy. And it wasn’t just because every time he shut his eyes he could feel Luke kissing him; he missed just hanging out with him. It wasn’t until Luke refused to be near him that Clyde realised just how many hours a day he actually _spent_ with Luke.

“Have you boys had a fight or something?” his mum actually asked on day three, when Clyde was stomping around the house kicking things, having come home straight from school since he had no Luke to hang out with.

“Or something,” he muttered.

His mum actually looked _worried_ , which Clyde realised was a bad sign.

After school on the fourth day, Rani hurried up to him. “Hey, Sarah Jane and I are going to research a story – a non-alien one – and so Luke will be on his own in the house all evening. For God’s sake, go and _talk_ to him and whatever you did, say _sorry_.”

Clyde scowled. “Why do you assume _I_ did something?”

Rani raised an incredulous eyebrow. “And what could Luke have possibly done to you?”

Clyde got her point, and managed to grudgingly thank her for the heads-up.

Early evening, he headed over to Bannerman Road. He tried to work out what to say to Luke, but realised he couldn’t plan what to say until he found out how Luke actually felt about the whole thing.

Luke pulled open the door and glared a pretty good glare. “ _What_.”

Clyde had been trying not to look at him in class, so he wouldn’t look like a wimpy loser pining over his friend, and was once again stunned by how Luke had gone from boyishly good-looking to actually _hot_ in just two years. 

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Luke glared at him for a while longer, and then shrugged. “Ok.”

They went into the living room instead of the kitchen – apparently Luke didn’t want to take Clyde in there – and sat awkwardly on sofas.

“I’m sorry,” Clyde blurted, wanting anything to get rid of the hurt and angry expression on Luke’s face.

“Sorry for what?” Luke asked, a trace of a scowl lingering on his lips. Clyde did his best not to be distracted.

He decided that he might as well be honest. “I’m sorry for running out on you. I’m not going to apologise for kissing you, because I’d do it again if I got the chance, but I shouldn’t have run away like that. That was shitty, and I’m _sorry_.”

Luke fixed him with a penetrating stare for a while, but the corners of his lips were starting to curve up.

“You want to kiss me _again_?” he asked, sounding a cross between pleased and uncertain.

Clyde felt himself start to breathe again. “Well, if you’re up for it…”

That evening lead from some fairly serious groping on the sofa to some even _more_ serious stuff on Luke’s bed upstairs. It was kind of awkward; there were too many elbows and there seemed to be _knees_ everywhere and neither of them were exactly what they were supposed to be doing or where they were supposed to be doing it – Clyde having had sex with _one_ freakily-dominant girl and Luke having had sex with, ooh, _no one_ – but it kind of worked out ok anyway.

Later, when they were lying being breathless and sweaty and sticky in unexpected places, Clyde chanced a glance at Luke.

“That was… ok,” he managed. “Wasn’t it?”

Luke nodded, smiling. “I think it could be better though,” he said solemnly. “I think we’ll have to practise. A lot.” 

(Seriously, there are times when Clyde abso-fucking-lutely _loves_ Luke’s perfectionism.)

+

In reality, they ended up freaking themselves out. They hung out together at school, much to Rani’s palpable relief, but conversations were brief and far from natural. Clyde found himself distracted in classes; he’d find himself glancing at Luke, scribbling away industriously beside him, and suddenly all he’d be able to think about was Luke _naked_ , Luke’s hands _everywhere_. 

Saving the world turned out to be kind of complicated when Luke and Clyde weren’t able to look each other in the eye and had long periods of awkward silences. Even Mr Smith asked if there was something the matter, and since he was a computer it was slightly worrying that _he_ (it?) had noticed.

They were facing down giant grasshoppers, who had moved into the local leisure centre for reasons completely incomprehensible to everyone. Luke was particularly annoyed about this because it interfered with his swimming – something _else_ that conjured up entirely inappropriate images in Clyde’s head and made him have to fake a coughing fit. Then it turned out the grasshoppers were planning on ripping Britain to shreds to get some raw fuel for their spaceship, and were building some kind of evil machine thing on the squash courts. As per usual. 

They needed Luke, though, and dragged him off to their Evil Lair or whatever it is that grasshoppers hell-bent on world domination have. Luke is always the one who gets kidnapped by alien races because of his awesome genius brain but the frequency of the abductions doesn’t make Clyde any less panicked when it happens. They got Luke back with the minimum of effort in the end – Luke cheerfully gave the grasshoppers the wrong formula and let them blow themselves up – and the whole thing worked out fine.

Once Luke had finished washing bits of exploded grasshopper out of his hair, and Sarah Jane had hugged him for a while, everyone seemed to go back to normal. They were all was glad that Luke wasn’t dead but he wasn’t particularly traumatised by the experience and no lasting damage had been done. The only thing that got left behind as a result was Clyde’s lingering panic at nearly losing his best friend.

Two days later, Sarah Jane went to the cinema with Rani’s parents – over the last couple of years they’d all sort of started getting on in a way that was very sweet; and people who live in the world Sarah Jane inhabits really deserve the chance to spend a few hours mired in normality from time to time – and Rani herself was out with her boyfriend. This left Clyde and Luke alone in the house for at least as long as a film and a drink afterwards would take. Clyde found it increasingly difficult to be around Luke, feeling weirdly possessive and knowing it was stupid but unable to stop. 

“Bad science-fiction?” Luke suggested with a little smile.

Clyde nodded, grinning: “Bring it on.”

Well, they got through the opening scenes of the film before Clyde shifted on the sofa and his shoulder brushed Luke’s. The first contact in nearly a week was like a spark shooting between them and before Clyde could even begin to register what was happening they were kissing their way up the stairs, stumbling and laughing; Luke kicked his bedroom door shut behind them, dragging Clyde over to his bed.

Afterwards, Clyde stared at the constellations carefully painted onto Luke’s ceiling.

“That was definitely _better_ ,” he decided, even if Luke was kind of half-crushing him and sniggering quietly into his shoulder.

“I did some research,” Luke admitted.

Clyde shifted so he could see something more of his friend than just his hair. “If you’re about to tell me you got Mr Smith to help then I will actually leave.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Give me _some_ credit.”

+

Now it’s about a month later and for some reason _they’re still doing it_. Clyde kind of assumed they’d burn out their curious experimental passion in a week or so but they just… haven’t. Possibly it’s because sex with Luke is really disturbingly interesting because of his constant need to read around every subject ever and research everything in great detail; to begin with he was always coming up with new things to try, which Clyde put a hasty stop to because you practically had to be a gymnast to manage some of them and Clyde had no intention of getting a back injury just because he wanted to have lots of dirty sex with his best friend as a way of filling in time until he got his AS results. 

They haven’t redefined anything; they’re still best friends, close as ever, except Clyde is more careful about the ways he touches Luke in public now because even a casual arm slung around his shoulders is enough to make Clyde’s spine crackle and he’s fully aware that as a teenage boy _everything_ is meant to make him horny and that’s all fine but he doesn’t want anyone to know. Not because he’s ashamed of Luke or of what they do; but he’s aware that the shit he did years ago to deal with his dad walking out still clings to him and he doesn’t want anyone to start making accusations.

Clyde is terrified that someone will take Luke away from him; not alien invaders, who can be stopped with a Sonic Lipstick and the right combination of chemicals, but… people. Normal people who will see Clyde as a bad influence and who will accuse him of taking advantage of Luke. Clyde is reasonably sure that all of this was Luke’s decision but it’s true that the guy is still endearingly naïve, and he doesn’t need to be labelled as the one _forcing_ anything. He wouldn’t entirely blame Sarah Jane if she lost her temper and shut him out of her house. Clyde thinks he’d eventually come to terms with losing the Wider Universe, but the thought of being kept away from Luke makes his chest fucking _hurt_.

“Luke,” he begins tentatively one afternoon. They’re in his room, the beginnings of a breeze sifting through the window; Luke seems to be half-asleep on his shoulder and Clyde’s mum is out shopping. It’s quiet and peaceful and, a mushy part of him wants to admit, it’s really _nice_.

“Mmm?” Luke shifts a little, fingers flexing against Clyde’s ribs. He really is on the point of falling asleep, and the circulation is totally being cut off in his left arm where Luke’s lying on it, but he’s not going to mention it. Luke breathes out, and the warmth seeps into Clyde’s t-shirt.

“I didn’t… I haven’t…” Clyde can’t find the words, isn’t sure how to ask without either insulting Luke or making him realise that all this was a horrible mistake. “I haven’t… made you do anything you didn’t want to do, have I?”

Luke hefts out a sigh. “Wikipedia said you’d do this,” he says. 

Clyde grins in spite of himself. “Weirdo.”

“I knew what I was getting into,” Luke murmurs, curling a little tighter against Clyde and even though it’s really unbearably hot in here he’s not complaining, “You didn’t do anything I didn’t want. I’m easily led but I’m not _that_ easily led. Ok?”

“Fair enough.” Clyde smiles fondly, ruffling Luke’s hair with the hand not currently trapped underneath him. “Just checking.”

Luke grins, shifting a little to plant a kiss on Clyde’s mouth. The angle is awkward and their noses bump together but the reassurance is plain and welcome. Clyde also uses this moment to manoeuvre his left arm somewhere it’s not going to go entirely numb, pushing one of Luke’s denim-clad hips a little.

“Now,” Luke says, pulling back and smiling, “Can I get some sleep? Are you going to freak out again?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Clyde murmurs, as Luke shifts, hair brushing against Clyde’s chin, getting himself comfortable.

Someone outside is mowing their lawn and cars occasionally swish by on the road, but apart from that everything’s quiet. Clyde listens to Luke’s slowing breathing, and is seriously tempted to drop off too. But he wonders what would happen if his mum walked in; what she’d think if she saw them both, fully dressed but curled close together like this on his bed. As far as Clyde knows, he and Luke are just best friends who happen to like kissing each other a little too much – Luke’s never expressed a want for anything more – but he sometimes wonders which lines they’ve drawn and if they’ve actually crossed most of them by now.

Deciding to stop thinking about it, Clyde closes his eyes and rests his cheek against Luke’s soft hair. For the moment, nothing at all needs defining.

\+ 

Clyde is clattering around in Rani’s kitchen making smoothies (it’s his turn, and since learning that he’s a better cook than both of them, Luke and Rani have always made sure he’s in charge of anything related to the kitchen) when he overhears some of their conversation in the living room and immediately stops cutting up bananas to go and eavesdrop.

“Seriously?” Rani is asking.

“I don’t want a girlfriend,” Luke repeats.

“Is this to do with the being-grown-by-aliens thing?” Rani asks. “‘Cause really, it doesn’t show that much any more and this girl in my French class won’t stop going on about you-”

“I think I’m gay,” Luke cuts her off, with his calm way of just coming out and stating things that other normal people kind of build up to. 

“…Oh,” Rani says.

Clyde has done a hell of a lot of things with Luke that involved mutual intentional nudity, is reasonably certain there isn’t an inch of Luke’s body that he hasn’t kissed, has spent half the summer teasingly trying to convince Luke he wants to write _gives pretty damn brilliant head_ on his UCAS personal statement, and has never seen Luke show any interest at all in anyone female apart from Random Maths Girl, but he still finds himself feeling kind of surprised. He hasn’t reassessed his own sexuality yet – he will get around to it, maybe next term – but was pretty sure Luke hadn’t given things like _sexual preferences_ a second thought. As usual, though, Luke is about eight thought processes ahead of him.

“Well,” Rani continues cheerfully, “Have you considered getting a boyfriend?”

Clyde does his best to ignore the way his fingers clench somewhat possessively at his side; for one thing Rani has no idea what he and Luke have spent the summer doing, and anyway Clyde has no claim on Luke whatsoever. If Luke wants to go off and get a boyfriend then he has every right to. He becomes aware that he’s actually stopped breathing, waiting for Luke’s answer, and tries not to think about what that means.

“I don’t want a boyfriend,” Luke replies calmly.

It feels kind of like someone has kicked Clyde repeatedly in the stomach, but really, it’s not entirely unexpected. Luke has friends for social interaction and he and Clyde are having fun but it’s perfectly obvious that Luke isn’t really like most other people, and doesn’t crave that closeness that comes from dating someone. 

“Fair enough,” Rani says, in a way that sort of implies that he’s not going to leave this alone, and will come back to it at a random unexpected moment. “Clyde,” she calls, raising her voice, “I don’t hear the blender!”

Clyde rolls his eyes, deciding that now is not the time to go all emo over the not entirely unexpected revelation that Luke doesn’t want a relationship. “What did your last slave die of?” he yells, dumping strawberries and the sliced banana into the blender.

“I fed him to the Slitheen for being rubbish and slow at making smoothies,” Rani replies.

“The Slitheen don’t actually eat people, you know,” Luke says, at which point Clyde switches the machine on. Under the sound of the fruit being pulverised, he mutters a few swearwords tightly under his breath, spitting them out between his teeth. Because seriously? _Fuck_.

+

“Are you ok?” Luke asks quietly.

Clyde summons up a smile from somewhere. “‘Course I am, mate. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Luke shrugs, shifting a little closer. They’re sat on the sofa in Sarah Jane’s attic, listening to the quiet processing bleeping noises that Mr Smith makes. They’ve been playing computer games on the giant screen – Mr Smith seems perfectly happy to keep updating them and improving them until they’re better than any other computer games anywhere – but have stopped because there’s a meteor passing a bit too close to Earth and Mr Smith says he needs to concentrate.

“You just seem distracted,” Luke offers. “You’ve been distracted all week,” he continues, and it’s clear that he’s been worrying about this but has been trying not to mention it. “And your AS results were good and we don’t go back to school for another week so…”

“Really, Luke, it’s nothing,” Clyde interrupts, because Luke is getting an increasingly miserable look on his face. He scoots up a little more, wrapping his arm securely around Luke’s shoulders, and the other boy leans into him, cheek against Clyde’s shoulder. He sighs, and sounds so dejected that Clyde ignores the fact he usually insists that cuddling is just for _girls_ , and curls his other arm around Luke. “You ok?” he asks softly.

“You’ve just… been really distant all week,” Luke replies. “You just seem really unhappy and you won’t look directly at me – I know you think I don’t notice stuff like that but sometimes I do – and you just seem to be… worrying about something. I thought maybe…”

Clyde never intended to make Luke miserable, and he has been over-thinking a bit too much this last week, trying to work out exactly when and where this is going to end since Luke’s laid his cards on the table (even if he doesn’t know that Clyde knows this) and, ok, he never really thought about them having a relationship but now that option’s been taken away he’s feeling the loss of it more than he expected to.

“You’re overanalysing things,” Clyde murmurs, stroking his fingers over the curve of Luke’s elbow. The other boy’s skin is warm and soft and Clyde smiles slightly. “Ok?”

Luke shifts so he can look at Clyde properly, carefully disentangling himself from Clyde’s arms. “I thought maybe you didn’t want to do this any more,” Luke says, not quite looking at Clyde, voice scarcely above a mumble.

“Idiot,” Clyde says fondly, reaching out to stroke a hand through Luke’s hair.

Luke smiles, cheeks flushing a little, and Clyde can’t resist leaning in to kiss him. He’s never kissed Luke in the attic before; Mr Smith is hardly going to comment and is more of a computer than a person but it’s still kind of _weird_. But Luke seems so happy, so relieved, that Clyde doesn’t mention any of that, nibbling Luke’s lower lip until his mouth opens and kissing him properly, pushing him back into the sofa cushions. Luke shifts to curl his arm around Clyde, their legs entwining, and Clyde decides to ignore a sudden flurry of beeps from Mr Smith because _seriously_.

A couple of minutes later he realises he probably should have taken the sound as a warning because the attic door opens.

“Mr Smith, I need-” Sarah Jane stops talking abruptly. There’s no time for Clyde and Luke to pull apart, no time for anything, and Clyde presses his face into Luke’s shoulder. _Oh shit_. Luke pushes him and Clyde sits up quickly, trying to find some logical words. But panic is settling flat in his stomach because Sarah Jane is the one with the power to make this abruptly stop. She’s the one who can say _bad influence_ and _taking advantage_ and shut Luke out of Clyde’s life completely. She’s an amazing woman but she’s also a mother and Clyde hasn’t seen her look this angry since that Patraan alien thing attempted to pull Rani to pieces. 

“Downstairs. _Now_.” Her voice is steady but tight and Luke quickly runs across the room after her, leaving Clyde sitting on the sofa hyperventilating. 

He paces the attic for a few minutes and then decides that he can’t just let this happen, he’s got to go and put forward his side of the story. He’s fully aware that he’s nobody’s first choice when it comes to _people you want your child hanging out with_ – he’s kind of lost count of how many times Rani’s dad has begged her not to invite Clyde round – and although Sarah Jane sees that he’s more than his determined shell of flippant comments and apparent _coolness_ Clyde’s still pretty sure he’s not the kind of person Sarah Jane had in mind for Luke.

Years and years of hanging out in thirteen Bannerman Road means that Clyde knows all the places on the stairs that creak, so he creeps soundlessly down to eavesdrop on Sarah Jane and Luke.

“Of course I like Clyde, I do,” Sarah Jane is insisting. “I just want to be sure that you know what you’re doing.”

“It’s all right, mum,” Luke replies, sounding perfectly calm. “I love him.”

Clyde’s legs go out from under him and he sits down heavily on the stairs. He gapes in the direction of the kitchen, kind of wanting to go in and demand what the hell Luke thinks he’s doing, but he can’t make himself move.

“Well, that certainly changes things.” Sarah Jane sounds like she’s smiling, and not like she’s going to call up a race of violent evil aliens to castrate Clyde, which is all to the good. “Are you _sure_ , Luke?”

“I’ve been a person for nearly four years, mum,” Luke points out (and Clyde grimaces because he’s been trying not to think about that all summer; having sex _with a four-year-old_ doesn’t sound good whichever way you put it), “I’m not as naïve as I used to be. Really, it’s fine.”

“You’re growing up so _fast_ ,” Sarah Jane says, sounding a little choked up. Ah, mothers. Clyde presumes something like this is going to happen if and when he decides to tell _his_ mum what he’s been up to this summer. Well, obviously not in great detail and he might gloss over certain parts of it but he’s probably going to have to tell her that he and Luke are… you know. Something. “Oh, Luke.”

There’s the rustling sound of a hug. Sarah Jane seems to be processing this perfectly happily, but then she’s seen far stranger things than her teenage son falling for his best friend so of course she’d take it well.

“Why didn’t you _tell_ me?” Sarah Jane asks after a minute. “I would’ve been fine with it all along if you’d just mentioned something.”

“…I haven’t told Clyde yet,” Luke admits. 

Sarah Jane sighs, but she still doesn’t seem to want to call up UNIT and have them horribly torture Clyde, so he reasons that it’s probably all going to work out some kind of ok.

“Then I think you should,” Sarah Jane tells Luke firmly. “Don’t you?”

Clyde forces his legs to move, shifting back up the stairs so he can walk down noisily, like he’s been upstairs all along. Sarah Jane and Luke are walking out of the kitchen; Sarah Jane looks emotional whereas Luke just looks plain nervous. Clyde tries to find something to say and discovers he’s still drawing a blank.

“Oh, _Clyde_.” Sarah Jane sighs but envelops him in a big, warm, accepting hug which Clyde gratefully returns. 

“Is this the part where you tell me if I hurt Luke you’ll call up K9 and have him laser me to death?” Clyde asks quietly, and is impressed with the way his voice hardly trembles at all.

“I wasn’t going to say that,” Sarah Jane replies, pulling away, “But now that you mention it…” She grins. “I think you need to talk. I’ll be upstairs if you want to come and help me work out what the Thyrannus Institute is trying to achieve.”

Luke wanders into the living room, leaving Clyde to follow. They both sit down on the sofa and sit in a lengthening silence. Luke looks almost comically awkward and Clyde decides that he’s got to take charge here or this chance will just be gone.

“I’ve got one question,” he says eventually.

Luke finally manages to look at him and meet his gaze. “What?” he asks.

Clyde cracks a smile. “I just want to know how you had time to say things like: ‘hey, Clyde, why don’t we try this weird sexual practise I found on an obscure website I should never have been on in the first place?’ but never found the time to say: ‘by the way, I think I might be in love with you’. You know?”

Luke flushes a very appealing shade of pink. “I didn’t… I didn’t think you’d want to hear it,” he mumbles. 

Clyde groans, tipping his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Luke, you tosser, I’ve spent the entire week being unforgivably emo because you told Rani you didn’t want a boyfriend. ‘I love you’ would’ve been a pretty welcome self-esteem boost.”

“Oh.” Luke doesn’t seem capable of speech. 

“Also, what do you mean you don’t you want a boyfriend?” Clyde demands, turning to look properly at Luke. “What, you’re ok with getting naked with me on a nearly daily basis but you don’t want to _date_ me?” 

Luke stares at him like he’s insane and the whole thing is entirely obvious. “I don’t want a _boyfriend_ ,” he says, “I want _you_.”

Clyde groans, burying his head in his hands. “Oh my God, this is so completely _lame_.” When he raises his head a moment later, he finds Luke looking at him in slight consternation. “Not _this_ ,” he adds quickly. “ _This_ is nice. I love you too. I’ll take you out for dinner Tuesday night. But… argh.”

Luke still doesn’t seem to be following but he’s smiling now so Clyde decides not to explain to him how the mixed signals and misunderstandings have made this summer really weirdly complicated. He’s got what he wanted and UNIT aren’t trying to dismember him so it’s all good. 

“I suppose I’ll have to stop Rani trying to set me up with her friends,” Luke muses.

“Yes you bloody well will,” Clyde snaps.

Luke bursts out laughing. “Sorry,” he chokes after a moment. “You just looked so…” He shakes his head, still laughing, and Clyde pulls him close and kisses him to shut him up. 

“Come on, gorgeous,” he says after a moment, reluctantly letting go and standing up, “Let’s go help your mum save the world.”

Luke grins in reply, taking Clyde’s offered hand and curling their fingers together. Clyde tries to decide if things would be easier if they didn’t have aliens interrupting half their private moments and then decides that it would probably be easier but it would also be considerably less, you know, _awesome_.

What the hell. Who wants a normal life anyway?


End file.
